Scaling a Mountain in Osaka

At a whopping 4.53 meters, Mount Tenpo looms majestically over the surrounding...park (the flood gates are a bit taller).  Your three to four minute ascent is marked with a straight path, some pretty trees, and the surprise at the end when you reach a tiled area with a sign and a cute looking anthropomorphic mountain picture.  Many people climb Mount Fuji in their quest to take on the peaks of Japan, but only the chosen few will reach the top of Mount Tenpo.

Our trip to Osaka was more of an aside to the rest of the main journey.  My wife had a childhood pen-pal that came out to our wedding the year prior, and we decided that we should see Osaka with her friends while we were on our way through Japan.  Needless to say, Osaka was amazing.  The food, the culture, and of course, Spa World.  Spa World will have to be another story for another time.  Not sure if I am ready to discuss what happened there yet with the greater world.

Our day started in Osaka with a visit to the Osaka Aquarium.  This place is freakin' awesome!  I mean, look at the signs out front!  Alpacas!

Probably nothing to do with the aquarium

Needless to say, we had to go inside.  It was great, fish, fake snow machines, a huge sun fish, penguins, and this guy who stole my heart with his fantastic dance moves.

Dancing with the seals?

I went left, he went left.  I went right, he went right.  We spun and we hopped (sorta).  It was a ballet that could have only been better if it were caught on camera, which it was, but again, as with Spa World, will not be shown on here for the sake of everyone reading.  For a few minutes we transcended the few inches of plexi-glass that separated our physical forms.  Humans and spotty-speckled seal creatures with cute faces were one.  

After the Aquarium we were off to summit my mountain.  I did not know it was a mountain, but just that there was a geocache on it. Using the same decision making process that helps me each time I decide what to see in a new city, I walked over to Mount Tenpo to look through the bushes for a hidden box full of happy meal toys.

4.53 meters may not seem like a lot to the average person, but if you were to try and jump and touch that, you would fail miserably.  See my logic there?  Now, as this is almost 15 feet, we knew we had to be prepared, and we set out at a brisk pace and... promptly made it to the top.  

There was a quick stop in the middle of the "hike" so that my wife could look at a bug she found on a tree.  I have mentioned before that she likes taking photos in macro of different things, and this was a rare opportunity to do so in such a precarious location as on the side of a mountain.  Achievement!

Anthropomorphic Mountain with Anthropomorphic Rico

Also, unbeknownst to our ascent team, scaling Mount Tenpo entitles you to an official certificate of achievement.  As I have no other certificates of achievement, this will have to do for now.

Be Jealous

As our climb was done, we had to go and see another Osaka landmark - Osaka Castle.  

This place is huge.  Like, you stand there and go, no way, that is way too big.  Just trust me on it.  Here is a picture of a rock in a wall with my wife next to it for scale.

The Small Outer Wall

I am sure that there are all sorts of historical facts that you could read at this point about Osaka Castle, but let's just suffice to say that it is big, there are a ton of rocks, and you would have to be a next-level idiot to attack it.  

Person in the Picture is Actually a Giant

Picture Shot from Below to Make us Look Cooler

No trip to Osaka is complete unless you have seen some nightlife.  Food, lights, and a few stories that should not be told took place after this picture, but let's leave those for another time.

Imagine the Electric Bill!

Screw Political Correctness

Vailima - Robert Louis Stevenson

I will do just about anything for a Geocache.  Groups of us have rappelled, hiked all day, fallen from cliffs, and hurt ourselves in any way imaginable just to find a stupid box in the middle of some God-forsaken area, using space-age technology.

This is one of those stories.

There is a lovely house on the hillside outside of Apia, Samoa that was home to Robert Louis Stevenson.  It was built in .... blah blah blah, history, and stuff you can look up on wikipedia to sound really smart at your next Stevenson themed party...

Quite Majestic

On the hillside near the house is the grave of Stevenson.  This is important because there is a geocache located near that grave.  This is no big deal.  I have yet to meet the under 2,000 foot peak that could conquer me.  Again, my life seems to be a running theme of my pride getting me into trouble.

Trail starts off normal.  Incline.  Pretty Setting.  Some rocks here and there.  Keeping an eye out for any wild jungle animals, and playing scenes of how to escape Predator in my head (just in case).  Pretty sure the covered in mud trick will come in handy.

Majestic Nature

Then the trail turns to this.  

Less Majestic

Perhaps I forgot to mention that the country just got hit by a hurricane... twice.  It hit once, and then decided to swing a quick loop back and knock everything down that was still standing for good measure.  Entire villages were wiped out. Flooding was extensive.  That tree is about the size of a small house.  This is where shit got real.  I remember this point clearly.  There is one active geocache in the country.  It is straight up a hill where I have to climb over trees the ranging in size from a car to houses on a hillside that has a slope of about 45 degrees.  Camera went into the backpack, which got strapped down tight, and onward I went.  I needed that geocache like Gollum needed the One Ring.  

Pride and stupid decisions go hand-in-hand.

I finally lost the trail.  Again, no pictures, I was just trying to not die at that point.  I suddenly remembered why I usually have climbing rope in my geocaching stuff.  Great job on that one.  I took a bearing on the sun, figured the right direction to go, and then just went off trail and headed straight up the cliff.  Somehow I popped out on to a lovely cleared trail and walked right up into another hiker.  He told me that he was using the "easy" trail, and I must have taken the destroyed "hard" trail.  No Shit.

Finally, I made it to the top. Covered in mud and cuts.  Everyone else had bottles of water and a splash of mud on their Bermuda pants and I looked like something out of the Swamp Thing.  I took a quick spit bath for my picture with my G.P.S.r. to prove I was in the location, and then take in the view.

Remember that Dark Colors Don't Show Stains

The view was worth it.  

Majestic Again

After giving up on staying clean, I stumbled and slid my way back down to the bridge that spans the creek near the house.  I decided this is a great place to take a quick bath and under the watchful eyes of three construction workers I proceeded to splash water all over myself to get some of the mud off before I walked back onto the grounds of the Robert Louis Stevenson house.  Of course, I am barefoot.  In water that looks sort-of clean, enjoying getting the mud and muck off of my bruises and cuts.  

Under Construction

Then I spotted it.  About six inches from my foot was a hypodermic needle.  I exited the river and walked back to the house.  Carefully.  I showered using their garden hose.  

Quite the adventure for a geocache.  The ice cold coconut at our favorite little restaurant on the side of the road in Apia, Samoa was extra amazing that day.

Straw Added for Dramatic Effect