Fighter jets, dogs riding motor cycles, an elephant, and a floating market.

Sometimes you have one of those days where the camera is never ready.  Today was one of those days.  

The day started off like any normal quasi-adventure, get into the car, and go in a direction towards a location that the driver seems to know, and I have never heard of before.  Of course, this meant I settled into the back seat of the car and proceeded to zone out and watch the Thai landscapes move past.  Now, I should have know that I needed my camera ready, as you never know what to expect in Thailand.  Near my house there are a few places that have near life-size dinosaur statues.  Yes, because it is Thailand.  You don't ask why, you just accept the quirks.  

So, while sitting there in the back seat of the car, watching the landscape go by, I notice two fighter jets.  Just parked in a car lot.  Then three small private planes.  Why? Why not.  It is Thailand, so I think you just accept that these things are normal and move on.  I am pretty sure I could have purchased those jets for a nice price.  I have no clue if they were working, but they sure looked like Vietnam or Korea era US military jets.  

Again, Thailand.

So after this, I really should have been prepared for the rest of the day.  Sadly, I was ready to take pictures in all the wrong places.  Oh well, these things happen.  

The first stop we made was to an awesome little floating market to get some amazingly delicious seafood.  I first want to go on record and state that I really detest most seafood.  Most of the time it tastes briny and old.  This was amazing.  I am not sure if it is was the overuse of garlic and butter, or the fact that it was probably swimming somewhere in the Gulf of Thailand earlier that day, but damn.  Amazing.  

After our lunch stop here and our time to stop and people-watch for a bit, we headed over towards a local temple (where I learned that there are places where foreigners cannot use their cameras but the locals that are around you can...)

So, we went to a beautiful temple where the custom is to place bits of gold leaf on the various statues in the main sanctuary.  Luckily I was with my friend who was able to walk me through the protocol.  After doing all the proper motions, I got to the point where I was placing the gold onto the various statues and suddenly the line stops.  The lady in front of me pulls out her iPad and starts taking pictures of everything.  I think to myself, I guess this is OK as the guard is staring right at us.  So, after placing the gold, and noticing just how much gold was on the various statues (my finger was able to indent about a quarter inch into the soft metal), I take a photo with my phone.  Boom!  The guard is not happy

He yells something to me, while I am standing at the top of the area.  Beckoning me to come down... now.  I make my way down and he pantomimes "no camera".  I am very confused as there are literally many people around me at this point doing the exact same thing as I just did.  As he points to the gold area, there are a few people taking photos in almost the exact same spot I did. Well, guess I am in trouble for being foreign.  I apologize and he tells me to delete that particular photo, which I did in front of him. I walked away with my friend very confused. 

As I took the following photos and was not asked to delete them, just the one that the guard pointed out, I am going to assume they are acceptable.  I want to point out what a beautiful creation this shrine really is.  There are many shrines with various figures on them all around Thailand, but this one has to be the most inspiring one that I have seen so far.  

I think the best way to describe it would be to compare it to the feet of the worn down statue of St. Peter in St. Peter's Basilica in the Vatican.  The statue itself is beautiful, but it is moving because of the human impact that time has had on it.  This statue had so many people press gold to it over the years that it took on a whole new form.  The entire statue was bumpy and uneven, but in a very beautiful and reverent way.    

So, after being politely from my photography quest, I decided to take some pictures outside the guards domain.  Again, I was quite wary, but maybe it was just one guard who was having a bad day.  After taking some pictures around the temple, I am going to guess that was more the case. 

So, without any more run-ins with the guard, and seeing busses of tourists taking photos, we made our way to the final destination of the day - the family house and land of one of the people on the trip.  

It was worth the two hours of driving each way.  If it were not for the very angry dog and my ever-present fear of lethal vipers that like to sit in trees, (which I did not see, but I just knew were watching my every move), I could have stayed there for days.  

It was so peaceful and quiet.  I am now very used to the ever present sounds of the suburbs of Bangkok, and the quiet in the air was almost palpable.  

The last picture is of the dog that I am pretty sure wants to murder us all in our sleep.  Or when we are awake.  He looks cute, but inside is a little ticking time-bomb of a murder machine.  Yeah, I am onto you Kujo.

After a visit that should have lasted hours, but went by way too quickly, we went and did some gardening on the neighboring plot of land.  Well, by "we" I mean Eddie and I supervised.  We did a great job supervising though.  

It was hot and I think we were tired.  We did try to take great pictures though, that has to count for something, right?

At one point, Eddie even held a tool.  This was far beyond my energy level though, so I guess I can say that he was more of a foreman and I was a supervisor.  

All-in-all, a very beautiful day spent with some amazing people.  

So, here I am, "working" by the side of the road, and I look up and see a man riding on a scooter.  Now this is nothing out of the ordinary, but this man happens to have a 50 pound dog on his lap with his paws on the front handle bars and another 50 pound dog sitting in the foot area below him.  

I have seen families of five riding on one scooter before in Thailand.  No joke, Mom, Dad, and three kids on one Vespa, but a man and two dogs just floored me.  It was like something out of those paintings where the dogs play cards.  If the dog had been smoking a cigar or had given me a smile and a wave I would have questioned my sanity.  

Well, questioned it more than I already do.  Apparently dogs drive Vespa scooters in Thailand.  

I am also quite impressed with the dogs ability to stay in a straight line and use the gas and brake with no thumbs.  

Just put that on the list of things I learned today.  

Also, don't use a camera if you look foreign.  If you look Thai, go right on ahead.

In case you were keeping track on the score-card, this is about where everything took place.  Honestly, I have no clue where it is, but I happened to ping things with google maps.  Good luck finding it all again.  

Lastly, we were driving home and the driver, Eddie, says something like "oh look, an elephant."  The first thing out of my mouth, when looking out the car window and seeing a man ride an elephant on the side of the road was something like "Holy f*&%, he is riding an elephant,"  I have never seen an elephant outside of the zoo, and it was quite surreal to see a man using it for his evening... commute?  

Now, I don't want to enforce any stereotype, as that is the first time I have seen an elephant while in Thailand, but yes, I guess some people do really ride elephants to work.

Just chalk another day up to "Forget about it Rico, it's Thailand."

*Note: I did a bit of research before posting this blog and found that there is nothing against respectful images of Buddha.  As I feel that these are respectful images done in a respectful tone, I think they are OK for this blog.  If anyone feels otherwise, please do not hesitate of contact me and ask me to remove them and I will do so quickly and without argument.  

A Morning Walk

One of the things that gets me about Thailand is all of the different smells.  I know that this might seem weird to mention, but each place that I have lived in has very specific smells.  The thing that I have always noticed about the United States is that we do whatever it takes to make the smell of an area very neutral.  Where I used to live in Hilo, Hawaii, was always quite a shock, because it was a constant battle to fight back the mildew. 

Thailand is a very interesting mix of cooking food, water, and just about any other smell that can be thrown in the mix.  I know it is a weird observation, just something that I noticed this morning very evidently while I was walking along the water behind my apartment during the early morning.

Another aspect of Thailand that can complicate things is that it is not a morning culture.  I love the mornings.  I love the sunrise and a cup of coffee.  Tragically, with Thailand being more of a night culture, most of these mornings take me in search of the one or two shops that might take pity on the caffeine deprived foreigner who is up way too early for any sane person.  You know, like 8:00am.
  

The great thing is that if you can find a place that is willing to serve you coffee that is both not dehydrated and also free of sugar and milk, it is very good.  Oddly enough though, it can be quite hard to find.  I was lucky enough to find a nice place about a kilometer from my house, that serves a nice cup of coffee.  It is also quite scenic.  For some reason it also has a pool that you can swim in for about $2, and it serves lasagna.  I think I know where I will be coming on one of the long and hot weekend days.  

The directions to the place are quite simple.  You walk about a third of a kilometer down the market area, turn right down the dirt road, avoid traffic as there is no sidewalk, then turn right again.  After about a half kilometer of walking you will notice a bunch of bridges and across the river there is a big cartoonish octopus on a seafood restaurant.  You should be in the right locale.  Pass the In-N-Out burger, and you are there.  Yes, an In-N-Out burger.

Needless to say, I am both scared and willing to try this version of In-N-Out.  I mean, it has to be a franchise owned place right?  

The river is quite beautiful in its own right, especially in the morning.  

After a nice walk back, where I did not get hit by any cars and finally found the horses that I have been hearing during the night, I managed to find more of these damn sheep.  I really do not understand the Thai fascination with sheep, but who am I to judge?

Photos from the 30,000 step geocaching adventure

Thought it might be fun to upload a bunch of pictures from our recent geocaching adventure through Bangkok. We started with a visit to the shrine that was the target of the bombing that took place about a month ago, it was great to see it thriving and active. 

After a quick visit and offering we continued on our way. We of had a great plan of getting burgers at the burger festival that was put on by the US Embassy here in Bangkok, which was a lot of fun, along with picking up a few geocaches.

I also got to meet a celebrity.

I love the attention to space and detail that takes place in Thai shops.  This picture is from the green tea shop and cafe.

I also love how orchids are able to thrive here and are used to compliment any building or landscape.

Then again, there are other feature that always compliment an area as well...

We were able to find a few geocaches...

And a bunch of penises...

Along with a ton of street vendors...

And, some terrifying electrical work...

Really makes a burger worth it :)

 

Geocaching Bangkok

Thanks to my friend Eddie, we have set out on weekly trips to try to tame the amount of hidden geocaches that are lurking in Bangkok, Thailand. So far, the task has gotten the best of us, but little-by-little we have been chipping away at the numbers. 

First off, Bangkok has a TON of geocaches...

Each pin on the screen represents a geocache of some kind, the first trip we were able to knock out a good chunk on the west side of the city. Our legs were dead and our bodies were dehydrated but we managed to find 25 geocaches and change a small section of the city to smiling faces (meaning we had found that location).

This week we cleared another section of the city while we were exploring a few of the malls and checking out a burger festival put on by the US Embassy. 

Hopefully next week we can keep up this trend and clean out another small section of Bangkok. 

With our lovely "penis garden" find this week, I can only imagine what the future might hold.

Pictures from today to come in a future post. 

A Plethora of Penises

Disclaimer: I did not intend to find this awesome phallic oasis today, it is one of those adventures that just happens and needs to be written about.

Second Disclaimer: I had to look up the plural of penis.  In my entire life, I have never had the chance nor need to write the plural of penis, let alone use the word plethora in the same sentence. Great alliterations should never be turned down.

I think that this post needs to start off with how we wound up walking a half a kilometer down a small alley that led us to the Swissotel Nai Lert... 

My friend Eddie and I had been out geocaching all day, along with using our various models of fitbit to try to get in a certain amount of steps.  Suddenly I remembered an item that had been on my "bucket list" for quite some time.  I am not sure where I first caught wind of a penis shrine in Bangkok, but I for some reason the memory came back to me with a vengeance.  We looked up the location, and we were within a few kilometers.  What luck?!?

We decided that we had no choice but to walk the streets of Bangkok in search of... a shrine.  (I know what you thought I was going to write there... but that joke would have been way too easy).

After finally wandering around the quite lovely Swissotel Nai Lert (no, that is not a typo, there really is no "h" in Swissotel), we asked a groundskeeper where the penises were.  Thankfully we had a picture, as I don't think we know or ever wanted to know what the word "penis" is in Thai.  

He quickly escorted us off the grounds and pointed us in the right direction.  As the hotel is quite expensive and features an exclusive resort, I have a feeling that we were just a bit unwelcome wandering around in the guest area looking for wooden phallus objects.  

I can only imagine that TripAdvisor comment:

"Had a great stay at the Swissotel Nai Lert, except for the two random people who were wandering around searching for penises.  Not sure if they were crazy or bored, but it put a damper on my ingesting gin and tonics while sitting by the poolside."

While it was a bit awkward to walk around asking random people to show us where the penises were located, the eventual finding of the shrine was quite worth it. 

Needless to say, if you ever want a good laugh, walk up to someone in another country who speaks another language, while covered in sweat from walking around in a very humid and hot environment, and ask them where the penises are located.  Trust me, quite funny.  

Now, the shrine itself is a dedicated to a Goddess of Fertility and as such, people bring lots, (yes, lots), of different penis offerings.  Now, before you get all Lorena Bobbitt on someone to make yourself more fertile, the offering of a carved wooden, stone, or other artsy phallus is quite acceptable.  Make your choice, but make it wisely. 

Most of the penises, (I still want to say something like penisi, like octopi), are pretty normal, just scaled up or scaled down version of their human counterpart.  However, some look like an art project gone wrong.  I was going to search a version of that on google, but decided against it as I really did not want to see any art projects of this type either beautifully done or gone wrong. Feel free to do that on your own if you so desire.     

Without further teasing and/or gratuitous use of the word penis, here are some of my better penis pictures.   

A great feature for your backyard 

Carved... Wooden...

Must be a connection

I am not going to pretend to explain this one...

I like how this blends into the tree

Be careful climbing the tree

A display case

No clue why they are red...

The ribbon is a nice touch

I like how this shot framed Eddie

Bucket List:

See a penis shrine

I am sure it is going to be hard to top this one, but don't worry my dear readers, I shall try.  Until next time, be careful who you go up to in foreign countries asking to see penises. 

Well, this blog post had more references to male genitalia than I have ever used before in paragraph form.  A quick count has the direct references, not including photos at 16.  The things I do for my readers at home...  

For those of you who find yourself in Bangkok with a few hours to kill, here is the map of where you go to see this lovely feature for yourself.  You know, because you are bored and want to be able to tell this story to your friends as well...