Monday, July 6, 2015

2:30 AM - Reflections on Moving and Kittens

It is 2:30 AM, and once again, sleep evades me.  This time of the night has always felt like that odd in-between period.  You are at the point where you might be able to get some quality sleep if you can just rest your eyes in the next few minutes, but if you wait much longer, you may as well stay up to greet the sun.  I have loved the early morning for quite some time, and never been one to sleep long, but 2:30 AM sucks. 

While I have had a lot of ideas for things to write (trust me, I keep a list), most of them have fallen by the wayside.  Part of me thinks that I have taken the anxiety and fear of this move out on my "social" life.  For some odd reason, the therapeutic process of writing has been evasive at best.

Perhaps if I don't write it down, it is not going to happen.  Yes, I am excited to move, but no, I am not excited to leave Danielle for five months.  

I grow tired of people asking me about how that will work out.  People always seem to want to say something about the fact that we will be separated.  I am sure they all have the best intentions, but yes, it will suck.  No, I don't need you reminding me of the extent of said "suckage."

2:30 AM seems to allow for a certain amount of candor that might not be acceptable during the hustle and bustle of a normal day. Sunlight either strips people of their fears or allows them to hide in their lies.  Life is easier and simple during the normal waking hours, but you can really explore your inner-honest self when there is no one else around you, the only sounds coming from the animals outside and the steady ticking of the clock on the wall.  

One of the many books that we have acquired over the last few months sits in a place of honor on the coffee table, the spine still cracks when it is opened.  This is not to say that there have been no preparation, but I have gone out of my way to enjoy life day-by-day here.  Even though some days have been spent just working my way through my self-imposed summer reading list, they have been days that I can enjoy relaxing and enjoying what Hilo has to offer.  Soon, this will no longer be my home.  

I feel like I learned a lot about this day-to-day living from the last few weeks that my dog was alive.  I knew what was looming over his head, but he still had time to stop and take in the wonder of his world.  It may sound quite weird for me to look to a dog for wisdom, but there was only one of us in that situation who really understood what it was to live.  

During all the preparation for the trip, and the knowledge that I would be separated from Danielle for five months, we had a moment where fate told us to slow down.  

Nothing is cuter and more out-of-place than coming into your garage, obsessed with getting some task done, and seeing two very cute kittens playing.  Kittens can turn even the most cynical asshole into someone who just wants to lay in the grass and play with a little furry beast.  

These two were absolutely adorable.  We played together, we talked, we napped in the yard.  Sometimes life finds quite curious ways to tell you to mellow out.  

Kittens are one of those ways.  

Every single morning for a few days we would wake up and walk to the screen door to see this:

They loved to climb and they loved to try to find ways to come into the house and get more attention.  I am guessing that I have found the origin of the phrase "cat burglar."  We ended up helping them find their way back to their owner, but for a few days, they were ours.

So, suffice it to say, that my 2:30 AM inspiration is that sometimes when you are hitting a rough patch in life - life sends you kittens.

Enjoy the kitten moments everyone.  

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