Monday, April 6, 2015

Red Light District in Rome

Jet lag encourages stupid behavior.  After traveling from California to New York, not sleeping for a night, then on to Heathrow, and finally to Rome, we were tired.  Damn tired.  We also had no clue what we were doing, spoke no Italian, and in retrospect were completely unprepared for our two week trip to Rome and the surrounding countryside.

We had had almost no sleep for at least two days, and made the mistake of landing sometime in the mid-morning.  What a bad decision.  Now, when faced with situations like this you can make one of two choices:

Choice number one: Pass out for 24 hours of dreamless coma-like sleep

Pros: 
Rest
Wake up at 2am and talk to vagrants outside the hotel until sunrise.
Less chance of hallucinations

Cons:
You paid for this trip
Dammit, each day costs money!
Less chance of hallucinations

Choice number two: Suck it up and get caffeinated

Pros: 
More cost-effective than methamphetamine
Explore a new city
Teach your mind/body who is in charge

Cons:
Less rational
Poor decision making skills
Less effective in ordering caffeine due to language barrier.

Of course we decided to explore.  We made the fateful decision to jump on a bus and just end up wherever we got off of the bus.  

When someone who looks like this is making decisions, you can be sure that you are in for an adventure.

  Classy

So, here we are on a bus, barreling through the streets of Rome, without enough combined brain-cells to figure out where we are headed.  Seems like a fantastic idea, right?  Of course it was!  We end up at the end of the line, the station that no tourists should end up at.  I am sure anyone who has gotten off public transportation in the wrong neighborhood can understand... you need to find a new bus, and fast. 

That being said, we also discovered Rome has a rather large transient population, and in our beleaguered state, we are sure that we looked like mobile A.T.M.s.  The best part of the whole situation is that we would have had no clue how to even yell for the police.  I am pretty sure that if I were to just start yelling something in Spanish, but with a Marlon Brando sort of accent.

 Please-o, No Stab-o!
Photo Credit 1

Granted, most of Rome appears to be a very safe and well policed city.  This might have been more due to the fact that we were there when a President of the United States of America was going to be meeting with the Pope, but who knows?  

Needless to say, as you are surely able to guess, we managed to extricate ourselves from certain missing kidneys and wallet lightening, and somehow find a way in our sleep deprived state back to our hotel area.  I sure would like to say that we can attribute our escape to some knowledge of ninjitsu or other amazingly effective martial art.  It is probably more likely that no one wanted any of our organs.  I am glad that this has become a noticeable theme while traveling, hopefully one that I am able to retain for many years to come. 

There must be some form of black market for ginger kidneys?