Sunday, April 12, 2015

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend Me Your... Body Parts...

After only a few hours in Rome, any traveler begins to notice that there is something just a bit odd about the statues...

They are almost all missing one very key feature that is considered an integral part of at least half of the human population.  


There is a story that floats around the historical circles, which of course is probably just unsubstantiated rumor, about a Pope that got pissed off and went on a hunt to emasculate all of Rome.  Well, the statues that is.  The story goes on to say that there is a box of... bits... somewhere in the Vatican.


Of course, this is all rumor and hear-say, but if anyone from the Vatican ever happens upon this blog, I would love an official statement on that.  Please contact me.  


Just in case - here it is in Latin - amabo te, perscribe ad me.


Now, just in case you were wondering, I was able to find some examples of statues that had all of their bits, and some that did not.  Of course, this leads to another question.  What the hell was Hercules thinking when he was deciding to slay the Hydra naked?

Idiot

Perhaps it is just me, but even the thought of cooking something like bacon without a shirt on can send me into a panic attack, so what is he thinking?  Yes, it is a multi-headed beast, and he is searing the decapitation wounds closed while posing with it on his upper thigh.  While he most certainly lacks the basic human intelligence that we figured out when we first harnessed fire, he sure has swagger.  Guess we have to give him that.

Swagger